Day 51: Wanting to Know the Future vs Creating It

I remember some years ago, playing with the Osho Zen Tarot cards, wanting to know my future, it appeared the card 'Control' and I was not pleased, like it my future would be like my present, something I don't like. Looking back I see not much changed, and it is not that the card was an inevitable fate but as I see it, I create my life, I create my future - and I see I wanted things to come my way without me having to do anything for it and it does not work that way.

Because I see the question I asked the cards was wrong, I asked something along the lines of, what does the future hold for me? Instead of what do I hold for myself, what do I gift myself that I will also have in the future, as I have gifted it to myself? And so life is about gifting things to oneself, living words, but that is another post.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my future to be different than my present without seeing, realizing and understanding that I create my future and if I do nothing to change my future it won't be changed - I won't be changed, I'll be the same.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I create my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my future to be different than my present, without having to do anything about it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have to work in order to change myself and my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to put the time and effort to change myself and change my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself that I indeed can see the future to a certain extent  - in that if I don't change myself nothing will change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep repeating the same cycles, being in a zone of comfort instead of breaking the cycles and changing for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in self indulgence, not changing myself or my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in not facing myself and applying myself to change in all areas of my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stick to a plan of change to change my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that I have nothing to lose in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sad at the cards that appeared when I wanted to know my future instead of seeing that I create my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to know my future with the osho cards instead of willing my future, creating my future in every moment here.

I commit myself to create my future in every moment here, in the realization that every action that I take creates a consequence in the future, so I create my future in every moment.

I commit myself to take the best actions that I can in every moment, so I create the best future possible.

I commit myself to remind myself that I create my future in every moment, so I have to be careful with what I do/think/act.